True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
be right there i have to get my cape
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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