that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
