if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
