I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
