id be glad to
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
