i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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