When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
