oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
