the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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