it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
