i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
