i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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