I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
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