Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
