update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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