I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
