is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
