You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
