I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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