so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
