we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
