Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
