i jhust puked up my retainher.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i drank out of a bidet.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
