I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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