I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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