I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
