ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
