Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
