so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize