Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
