ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
