Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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