When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
