i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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