yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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