Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
