I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
