she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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