I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
