just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
