We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
