is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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