I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
