ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Life is so much better after having sex.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
