It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
