Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i think my mom watched the whole time
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
