You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
