The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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