I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Randomize
