A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
