i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
