At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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