very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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