Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
