I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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