Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Damn victory sex feels great
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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