i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
