I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
