just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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