as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
