Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
