Dude my mom stole all your condoms
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I have already put on my inside pants.
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