If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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