Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
