Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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