Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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