Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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