Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
