Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
