My nipple is on Facebook.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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