I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
