Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
